Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
