She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
