the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
