I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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