with your own penis?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
