I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
