just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
