Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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