did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
