i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
