So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
