It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
