he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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