My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
