I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize