Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
