You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
