Define "chronic" masturbator.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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