My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
