ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
