the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
