I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
