Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
