i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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