Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
