I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
