Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize