I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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