I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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