Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
