Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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