HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
