HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
smell my finger.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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