I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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