He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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