I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
