dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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