it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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