I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
