sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
