Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
