Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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