Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
