Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
