I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
