i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
