You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
