Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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