...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
is it fun? or sober?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
