I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
