all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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