I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
